Big News!

First, let me say thank you to everyone who responded so kindly last week. You guys are so amazing. You keep me going on hard days and I so appreciate the love and prayers. So THANK YOU!

We FINALLY heard from the Mayo Clinic today. They would like to see and evaluate mom. This is big because the Mayo Clinic is on top of the latest stuff and they have access to some cutting edge things that we would really like to find out about. So we are pretty excited. Mom was just 100% sure that we were going to get a rejection letter in the mail ... but we didn't.

They may have nothing to offer us other than a second opinion, but we won't know unless we try.

Which kind of leads me to explain what happened with our previous neurologist. He's a nice guy and I'm sure a great doctor. He helped us get some really important tests done and for that I'm grateful, but that's kind of where his helpfulness ends. His approach is to wait a year, have mom repeat the neuropsych testing and see how much she digresses. The last appointment we had with him was really rough. He was very dismissive of our questions and we just did not feel like he was listening to us at all. At one point I told him what the neuropsych doctor had said about life expectancy and his response was yeah that's true. And I said and you still want to just wait and watch... yep. Well okay then.

Here's the deal we know there is no cure. We are coming to grips with it as best we can, BUT there are medicines, there are trials, there are doctors who are aggressively and actively pursue treatments, so we have opted for a second opinion.

So we got a call from the Mayo Clinic two weeks ago. They asked a TON of questions and told me they would get our file in front of a doctor and let us know if they thought they could offer us a consult. They called today and they can, so to us that's a pretty big deal!!

We have a couple other referrals out there that we are waiting on as well. So we shall see what doors open and what doors we feel led to go through.

Mom is definitely sleeping better with the CPAP machine. She's still dreaming and waking dad up (last night she was on a covert operation to save a baby...) but she feels more rested and that is making a lot of difference.

She and I had a girls afternoon and went to a movie. It was nice to get away just the two of us. I love that baby but sometimes it's okay for his dad to keep him for a few hours! :)

I know she's worried about me going back to work. Our lives have become incredibly intertwined this summer. I'm actually looking forward to the routine of going back to school, but I know how hard this time is going to be for her. Her friends are completely amazing though. She gets taken to lunch more than anyone I know :)!

Thanks for your prayers, your notes, your thoughts and your love. You guys mean so much to all of us! Keep praying ... God is still in the miracle business!

A Little Clarification

Here's the thing...I know by putting my life out there I'm asking for people's opinions. I get that. I open myself up to criticism and haters and I'm okay with that, because the love, support and encouragement we get far outweighs that. But after yesterday's post I feel the need to clarify a little...

I got a message today from a concerned party. They wanted to be sure that I understand that getting frustrated with my mother is not the answer. I have to practice patience and love with her. It is NEVER okay for me to make her cry or to find humor in her struggles. That is just cruel and shows how selfish I am.

Maybe ...

I would love to be a jerk and ask you about your experience with a loved one suffering dementia. But I actually know you pretty well and know you have none. So there's that.

There are a lot of opportunities for me to feel like I am horrible person during this time. I pretty much question the things I say and do ALL the time. I definitely never want to make anything worse or harder for my mother and so I constantly find myself wanting to be sure I do and the right thing. My mother does not read this blog, she knows about it but she doesn't read it and she doesn't really want to. It's my place to process, vent and deal and she's okay with that. I wish you were too.

When I vent about some of the awesome things that people say when they probably just shouldn't say anything I always hear the same thing. People have good intentions. I'm pretty doubtful on this one as the message definitely went on a lot further, but I'm going to practice patience and love here and give you the benefit of the doubt. However, I want you to know and understand something very clearly. I love my mother. My days pretty much revolve around her. Trying to find a balance between her and my one year old leave me ZERO time for myself and I'm okay with that. I've been known to be a selfish, bratty person but I would say that one thing I am not in this battle right now is selfish. My life is no longer my own... and until you spend a day in my shoes you really don't get to call me selfish. Or cruel ... but that's just ludicrous, so I'm not even going to address it.

I'm sure you had my mom's best interests at heart, I'm trying really hard to believe that. One thing I have learned from all of this is that you learn who is fighting in your corner and who just wants to talk about your fight. I feel certain I know which category you fit into.

This disease is hard. One minute a person can be happy and laughing and in an instant they can be angry or sad. You just never know. If I had the key to what caused the changes, I definitely wouldn't be in the financial shape I'm in. My mom cries. I have a dear friend who's spouse is suffering from this crap and he turns to anger. You walk on eggshells on the bad days and on the good days you are constantly waiting for the switch to flip. It's definitely no walk in the park.

So with all of that out there ... please know that I am doing everything within my power to help my mother. I'm fighting with doctors, insurance companies, retirement boards, insurance boards, and social security agents on a daily basis. I'm making sure she has everything she needs to be comfortable each day, even if that changes from day to day. I'm making sure she's not sitting at home alone depressed. I'm with her everyday. Honestly, I have no idea how to walk this road. There is no book that I've found (and trust me I've gotten plenty of recommendations) that has given me every step to take. But I'm trying. One day at a time, I'm trying. I'm learning and I don't get it right every day. But each day is a new day to start over and try again.

I posted this on my FaceBook this morning but I want to post it here again. This song has rocked my world today. Not sure how this is the first time I heard it, but it is good. Here's my favorite line ...

You've just got to believe the story is so far from over. 

No this is not how I imagined my life would be. But if this is what He needs us to do, we will do it. I will walk beside my mother and when she cannot walk alone I will be there to carry her. For the most part you guys give me the strength I need to do that. Thank you for that. For those that think I'm doing this wrong remember ... 

Our days are happier when we give people a bit of our heart rather than a piece of our mind. 

P.S. - For all my other mothers that read this...I am okay. One person's negativity is not enough to affect me right now. Look at that, I'm getting tough skin :)! 

Broken Beautiful

So tonight's post is going to be one of those honest posts. I'm probably going to say things I regret but I NEED a place to talk about this stuff. My bestie is swamped at work so that leaves you guys!

The past two days have been some of the toughest I've had so far in this journey. We had the sleep test and I'll give you the update on that in a little while. First, I just have to vent.

When I first heard the word dementia I pictured long days filled of my mom not knowing who we were or what was happening. While that could be the case someday right now it's not. She's fully present and fully aware of who people are and what is going on. It's really not what I imagined. The struggles to comprehend things, figure tasks out, etc ... those are doable.

What's hard is the constant mood changes, when nothing I do or say is the right thing, when even looking at her makes her cry. What's hard is when I get frustrated and snap and then have to watch her cry for the next several hours because I let my emotions show. What's hard is when she believes with everything in her that something is one way, when it's clearly not, but you can't get her to understand that.

We can sit in a doctor's office together and he can make a statement. I can hear what he says and she can hear something totally different. However, even if you tell her 100 times what he actually said in her mind she goes back to what she thinks she heard. You have no idea what this does to a person. Her truths are really no longer truths. Sometimes her truth is distorted by this stupid disease and sometimes it's just totally made up.

I think this is one of the hardest things. She is my mother. She is supposed to always know better than me. I hear her tell people that I'm in charge and while I know it's because I've made her feel that way, I hate it. She's supposed to be in charge...for a long time still.

Someone talked to me recently about making sure I don't take everything away from her. I need to still allow her to do things and I agree. But it is HARD. Sometimes I'm so tired and exhausted I just want stuff done. It's just all so hard.

I hate that it's hard. I hate this disease. I dislike doctors. I've yet to really meet one that I felt cared about more than just a diagnosis. This is our life. It's hard and it sucks.

Again I feel the need to say everyone has hard stuff. I have a friend who is going through a ridiculous time with her ex-husband (who is a jerkface by the way!). I cannot even imagine what she's dealing with. I have friends facing cancer and health concerns, jobs issues, finances, families ... life is just hard. I think that's what I continue to be reminded of. I in no way ever want anyone to see this blog as a way for me to whine or complain about the journey we've been given. Every one I know could write their own stories of hurt and pain. I never take that for granted. I just want to share my journey. Most days honestly it's more for me than anyone else. It helps me process and deal and refocus. But I also hope that someone, anyone might find hope in what I write. Because at the end of the day no matter how much this sucks and how much it hurts ... I still have hope.

I was listening to this song this afternoon as I was driving us back from OKC. (On a funny note, mom had dozed off. This week has been EXHAUSTING for her. She had dozed and I hit a bump and her phone fell against the door and then to the floorboard. She jumped awake hollering at me about what did I hit? Can't I be more careful? I just smiled as she closed her eyes and nodded off again!) Anyhow ... this song came on and I don't know. I just needed to be reminded of this truth: He can take broken things and make them beautiful. I feel broken right now. I'm beat down and defeated. I feel like everything I did this week so far was wrong. I just feel broken. But there is such beauty in this song. I'm going to post a few lyrics but then I'll include the video. It's good stuff if you listen I promise God'll meet you there.

I'm better off when I begin to remember

How you have met me in my deepest pain

So give me glimpses now of how You have covered 

All of my heart ache, oh with all Your grace

Remind me now that you can make a way. 

That your love will never change

That there is healing in your name

That you can take broken things 

and make them beautiful. 

 Real quick here's the update from the sleep test. During one hour mom stopped breathing or had her airway obstructed 19 times. So she now has an adorable pink cpap machine to sleep with. Her iron was extremely low and that can be a source of active dreaming so we are going to start some supplements. We were also on a medicine that could cause acting out of dreams, so we are weaning off that. Then we are going to give it two weeks and see if sleep improves. If not we have a prescription to help with the REM Sleep Behavior Disorder and we will try that then. We are waiting on a call back from the Mayo Clinic, OU Medical and Texas Tech Neurological Center. Pray God provides a doctor who wants to be proactive versus passive. I'll write more about that later. 

Thanks for letting me vent. Here's my prayer for me and for you tonight. Love you all! 

You say that You'll turn my weeping into dancing

Remove my sadness and cover me with joy

You say your scars are the evidence of healing

That you can make the broken beautiful. 

Letting Go

It has been an interesting day around here. Mom has a lot of anxiety around this sleep test we are doing tonight and anxiety definitely makes life interesting for her.

Last week was frustrating for us. We hit some walls that really stunk. We wanted answers and plans and we came up short. So we start over this week. We know it won't always be easy, but we know we will take it one day at a time.

I read this today and it spoke volumes to my heart. God's being good about that lately. Putting the words I need to hear right in front of me.

This comes from a blog titled, "What You Can Hold Onto Before Things (and You) Fail This Week." Here's just a few awesome quotes from it ...

"Growing up I always used to think I was too dirty to come to God. Looking back I realize how so much of my performance (whether athletic, religious, academic, etc) came from a place of me feeling like I had to prove something - to God and to others. When I started following Jesus, and grace hit me on the head like a ton of bricks, I still struggled with letting it permeate every last part of me. I still thought I had to attain a certain spiritual level of awesomeness before I could really receive grace.

That was until I read Romans 4:5, which I'd read plenty of times before, but that particular night God made it jump out of the page (He has a funny way of doing that a times, huh?): "and to the one who does not work but believes in him who justifies the ungodly, his faith is counted as righteousness." Romans 4:5

Have you ever sat in the weight of that scripture?

Have you ever realized just how scandalous that verse truly is?

Sometimes in our sanitized, sterile, flat readings we can miss out on the completely explosive language the scripture writers are using to get their point across.

It says God justifies the ungodly. Or in other words, He makes right - the ones who aren't right.

He makes holy the filthy.

He purifies the impure.

You don't have to try harder, you don't have to be better, you don't have to do more, you just have to stop working and TRUST in the one who justifies the ungodly!"

 (http://www.aholyexperience.com/2014/07/what-you-can-hold-on-to-before-things-and-you-fail-this-week/) 

I need to be reminded this journey has ZERO to do with me and EVERYTHING to do with Him. Tough words ... but oh so true.

This song is on my heart today so I'm leaving you with it.

"Through it all, my eyes are on Him."

Words My Heart Needed to Hear ...

Bring me all your feelings, even the ones you wish you didn't have. Fear and anxiety still plague you. These feelings are are not sinful, but they can be temptations to sin. Blazing missiles of fear fly at you day and night; these attacks from the evil one come at you relentlessly. Use your shield of faith to extinguish those flaming arrows. Affirm your trust in Me, regardless of how you feel. If you persist, your feelings will eventually fall in line with your faith.

Do not hide from your fear or pretend it isn't there. Anxiety that you hide in the recesses of your heart will give birth to fear of fear; a monstrous stepchild. Bring your anxieties out into the Light of My Presence, where we can deal with them together. Concentrate on trusting Me, and fearfulness will gradually loose its foothold within you.

                                       Jesus Calling
                                       Sarah Young

Thanks for reading. Thanks for praying. You guys keep me going.

Perfect Love

Lately I've been pretty paralyzed by fear. I know that God is here. I know that He hasn't left me ... but I'm too scared to really move at all. I'm too scared to dream, to scared to hope. I'm just kind of existing. Honestly, I think that's more exhausting than really living.

Most of you know I follow a lot of blogs and bloggers on Facebook. Today this filled up my entire phone screen... and oh how I needed it.

Ann Voskamp is a blogger I follow. She speaks loads of truth. Lately I've ignored it cause who needs all that :) but today I couldn't get it out of my mind, so I went back and read her post. I've copied it below.

"Lord some nights we want someone to punch fear in the face for us, to kick the shins of the pressing dark for us, someone to throw down a finish line for us and say, 'Finished! You Win!!' 

And you nod, because You get it, because You've got us, and You punch fear in the face with one line, with all Your love: 'Perfect love casts out all fear.' And You kick back the dark with one brilliant turn: 'The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.' And You throw down a finish line for us with Your three words: 'It is finished.' 

And we feel the exhale...the way You make the winded and wounded feel the win of an amazing carrying grace. "

(Ann Voskamp http://www.aholyexperience.com/)

I think it is safe to say I'm coming home. I'm not coming to grips with what is happening, or even accepting it really, but I've come to the realization I'm going to have to go through this journey, so I might as well not go it alone. 

I needed to be reminded today that the darkness has not overcome. There is a perfect love that punches this fear in the face and shines its light on the darkness and says, I win! I need that love on my side. 

I wanted to share it with you all too... we all need this perfect love, even when we don't want to admit it. 

Love you all. 

Still Listening

I’m not sure who all is praying for my heart to be softened … but whoever you are … Thank you! God has been all over me and I’m not running as fast as I can in the other direction so that’s a start. I have this one “friend” who continues to post songs that I believe she knows are going to send me running back to Him and even though I tell her I don’t like her, I’m lying. She is good for my soul.

This journey we are on is tough. There is nothing easy about it. But I have been reminded this week that so many of our journeys are tough. I guess for the past few weeks/months I’ve been doing the whole pity party thing and telling myself anything in the world has to be better than this. But you know … that’s just not true. I still have my mom. We have good days, bad days and really bad days. But we have days together. I’m learning to cling to that. So many people have shared stories of loss with me and God has used that to remind me that my story is not over yet. So thank you…all of you for your encouragement and prayers. They are working.

One really special guy reached out to me this week. Let me stop for one second and tell you I LOVE this kid. He’s really not a kid. He just graduated college and is getting married in September to a girl who I adore.  This kid has such a special place in my heart that I cannot even describe it. He amazes me and I am just truly so grateful for him.

Anyway, he reached out to me and I’m going to copy his message below (and yes I got his permission!).

Hey friend. Just got done reading through everything that you've posted on Facebook and your blog lately. Wow. So much to take in, and I can't even begin to know the emotions you guys are feeling. I wanted to share with you something that I read a while ago. It's not necessarily a warm fuzzy feel-good passage of Scripture, but I love the truth that exists within it:

Zephaniah 3:16-20 16 On that day it shall be said to Jerusalem: “Fear not, O Zion; let not your hands grow weak. 17 The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing. 18 I will gather those of you who mourn for the festival, so that you will no longer suffer reproach. 19 Behold, at that time I will deal with all your oppressors. And I will save the lame and gather the outcast, and I will change their shame into praise and renown in all the earth. 20 At that time I will bring you in, at the time when I gather you together; for I will make you renowned and praised among all the peoples of the earth, when I restore your fortunes before your eyes,” says the Lord.

I say it's not necessarily a feel-good passage because this is a promise made to Israel in the middle of their lives sucking a lot. And it's stated multiple times that the day that God chooses to help Israel wasn't there yet and might take a while. I can't necessarily give you words of encouragement regarding HOW your life might get better from this passage. But I know from reading this that God promises all these things WILL happen someday. My prayers for you and your sweet family aren't for the day when God delivers on these promises, but on the indefinite time leading up to that day. Because those are the times when we are angry and hurt and frustrated (rightfully so). In the meantime, Hannah and I are praying that God will begin to show you that t he is in your midst and that he will begin to quiet any anger and hurt by His love.

You guys, straight knocked the wind out of me as I started to bawl. You know how God gives you something that it’s like your heart has been waiting to hear? Well this was mine. Here’s what I needed to hear … there are promises. They may not happen tomorrow. God may not show up and perform the miracles I am begging him for. He may not do what I think He should right at this moment, but he WILL show up.

I haven’t told him this but Zephaniah 3:17 is one of my absolute favorite verses, but in the past few months I haven’t even thought of it. Today it was like God said, “I’m waiting to quiet you with my love.” I so need that right now. I’ve just been so scared of running to him. I think I’ve been scared that if I give in and run to Him, it’s like I’m accepting His plan and saying I’m okay with it. I’m so not … but I’m beginning to realize I don’t have to be. I think I’m relearning or unlearning even a lot of things I always thought to be true these days and you know what, that’s okay.

So here’s what I have for you tonight, whatever it is your are facing, whatever your giants are right now … you don’t have to like it, you don’t have to accept it… you can just fight with all you have and in the quiet moments let His love continue to pour over you. Don’t give in. Even when you feel defeat like you’ve never felt before. Even when every turn you take runs you into another wall, keep fighting but let him hold onto you while you go. I’m finding some sweet comfort in that place tonight. 

ps - I love you Ben Hamilton. You are one amazing young man. If my Asher becomes half the man you have become ... I will be one blessed mama! 

Listening

I've been trying to listen..to Him. I've been trying to hear his voice among the noise and the chaos, among the anger and the hurt. I've been trying to listen. I think He keeps speaking ... I hear Him when a friend shares a note of encouragement or support. I hear Him on the radio. I see Him in my child, in my mom. I know He is here. I know he never left ...

Tonight though I feel broken. I feel like I am fighting a battle that I am never going to win. I know I'm going to lose but yet I HAVE to fight. I have to keep trying. I lay here and I think about the future and I feel this black hole come over me. A pain grips my chest so tightly and refuses to let go. What if we lose? We know we will lose... this is an ugly disease with no answers. The biggest piece of hope we are given is maybe one day.

How do you keep fighting when you know you can't win?

How do you keep putting one foot in front of the other?

There is so much pain all around us. There is hurt and confusion around us on a daily basis. Today I was thinking what if I had no hope at all? How devastating would that be? At least there is hope, at least we have that.

I am telling you I am blessed. I have many people in my life who are daily texting me scripture, song lyrics, words of encouragement. You people need to know your voice matters. There are some days those texts are the only thing that keep me going. When I'm frustrated and when I feel like giving up ... I go to those.

Recently a friend sent me something I've been stuck on. Let me just say this person is not someone I thought would be a friend. But she has proven herself to be so faithful and so strong for me. She has become so dear to my heart. I know she reads these so I hope she knows just how much I value her and love her. We don't do the mushy thing well :) so anonymous is good for us!

Recently she sent me the Desert Song. I know this song. Our kids at MABC used to sing it well. I've listened to those lyrics many a night to help get me through some rough days. But this time ... they just seem stuck on me. One line in particular ... "this is my prayer in the battle, when triumph is still on it's way..." Honestly, triumph feels a long way off. Alright truth, triumph feels dang near impossible. So I just keep repeating that it is still on it's way, hoping and willing myself to believe it.

The past few nights its been on my heart how much others are hurting too...So maybe tonight someone needs these words... Triumph is still on the way. God is your victory and He is here.

I'm going to write those words on my heart tonight. I'm winding my way down a dark, lonely path trying to find my way back to that victory, to that God who is still there. But I know that triumph is still on the way...I'm just afraid I won't really like what it looks like.

Trying to Deal

I’ve been itching to write for a while now, but the opportunity just hasn’t shown itself. I’ve been so busy this summer. It’s been good, don’t get me wrong, but my idea of a nice relaxing summer has flown right out the window. Especially considering that I have somewhere around 25 days before I go back to work L! Where has the summer gone?

I haven’t written since we got the diagnosis. That was on June 30…it’s been 10 days. I still honestly can’t tell you exactly how I feel. I go through the gamut of emotions on pretty much a daily basis. A friend told me today they are glad I’m making the most of my time instead of wasting it on anger. Here’s the truth … I’m so angry. I really haven’t had a decent conversation with God in months. It’s not that I don’t understand that he has a plan. I do, but can I just be completely honest. His plan is completely, 100 percent shitty. I don’t care what the good is that will come from this. I’ve read the stories on the internet of people that suffer from this disease. I’ve talked with people whose loved ones have suffered and I just don’t care. I hate everything about this. EVERYTHING.

So that’s really where my heart has been for the last 10 days. Angry. But even more than anger I think there is fear. I’m scared I won’t be strong enough to handle what we are going to have to deal with. I’m scared of what we don’t know. I’m scared of what we do know. I’m just scared.

A friend sent me a pin on Pinterest that I honestly don’t like very much. But I love her so I decided to open it and look at it even though I knew what was in it would be hard.

I tell myself that I will always be honest on here, even when I know that my honesty isn’t for everyone. So here goes … I’m not there. I’m not in a place where I can tell God take her and I will still praise you. I want to be some days and other days I don’t want anything to do with this God I know loves me.  Job was a G…I’m just not. I don’t know that my faith is honestly strong enough for this battle we are about to endure. I don’t know that I’m strong enough. And honestly, I don’t want to have to find out. I want to rewind and find a different road that takes us somewhere totally other than here.

But for now I will continue to get out of bed every morning. I will put one foot in front of the other and I will try my hardest to make each day count. I will love my mother with absolutely everything I have in me and I will do everything in my power to make her days easier.

Can I just add a side note? We all have things in our lives that suck and are hard. I am in no way downplaying anyone else’s crap or trying to give the impression that somehow mine is worse. Life is hard. For all of us. I get that. I do. I’m just trying to process my own grief, anger and fear here. So for those of you going through the crap too I hate it for you just as much as I hate it for us. Life is hard. I wish Jesus would just come back…for us all. 

The Mountains

We’ve been lucky enough to steal away for a few days to my Uncle’s home up in the mountains of Colorado. It is gorgeous here. The weather is beautiful. It has rained every night. It’s just been a very peaceful, nice getaway.

My sister in law, mother and I were able to go into town the first day and do some shopping. They have such a cute little town here.

It was fun to just walk around with no agenda. We even stopped for homemade ice cream. Asher LOVED the sweet cream and blueberry and ate an entire serving by himself. (The detox after these two vacations is going to be brutal for this little boy!)

This morning we got up at 4:30 am. Can we all just agree I must love my Dad a whole lot to not only get myself up but my kid at that time to go fishing??? But it was really nice. We went out on a boat down in Gunnison and it was beautiful. Asher loved being on the boat and we all had the chance to catch a couple fish. Asher even wanted to pet the fish, although we couldn’t even get Nana to hold it.

Right now it’s pretty peaceful in this place. The family went to bed and I’m sitting up just listening to the sounds on the porch. I love this place. It does my heart a lot of good.

The Morning After

Honestly, my heart still hurts just as much today as it did yesterday. I've read a lot of stuff since I posted last night and I have to say most of it didn't make me feel much better. I've spent some time talking with family and friends and reminding myself what some of the important things are.

This still feels like a dark cloud over me at this moment, but I have been reminded a lot of how loved we are. Honestly, I'm not really ready to talk to God yet. I did tell him today he clearly knows I'm not happy with him ... (as if he needed me to tell him!) But I'm just really not ready to discuss, but that hasn't stopped him from reaching out to me.

A sweet friend sent me this verse this morning. "Let the beloved of the Lord rest secure in Him for He shields him all the day long and the one the Lord loves rests between His shoulders."

Such a sweet reminder that I am loved. I have not been abandoned.

Then this morning I was putting things away in my mom's bathroom and I saw the verse she has written on a note card on her mirror..."Because of the Lord's great love, We are not consumed."
Honestly I feel consumed. I feel like this is like a smoke that slithers into all the crevices and fills completely up, completely consuming me. BUT ... I will cling to the truth that I am not consumed. At this moment I'm practicing what I'd like to call acting my way to a feeling.

I'm going to be writing more once all my traveling slows down, but I wanted to say this: The very best thing you can do is be normal. Don't avoid us. Don't try to tell us all that you now about dementia and offer your own diagnosis. Just be normal. Call my mom, text her, let her know you still want to be in her life. Don't focus on the diagnosis or what's wrong, just be her friend. Hang out with her and be normal.

I say that because I've had so many people ask me what they can do. That's it. Be normal. Don't abandon us and don't give us your medical opinions :)! We like our doctors a lot and we will be sticking with the treatment options they've given us!

Continue praying with us. We have a long journey ahead.