Well, it's hard to believe that it is 2015. Sort of, I'm not going to totally lie, I wasn't like in shambles saying goodbye to 2014. I was kinda ready for it to be in the rear view mirror, if ya know what I mean!
I am one of those weird, crazy people that really loves the new year. I love the feeling of a fresh slate, a clean start, that speaks to me. I love to make goals for myself and then spend a year attempting to get there!
I've got a lot of things swirling around in my brain with this new year that I am hopeful will develop over the course of the next year! Some I might share and others I may not. One thing I am going to try and put more effort into is my blog. I love this blog. It really is a way for me to process and deal with all the things spiraling out of control in my life. It's a way to keep people up to date on what's going on with us and honestly, I hope it gives people a direction in which to pray for us. So I will commit to working on it more, I promise.
The end of this year was whirlwind. Honestly ... I still feel like I'm just now able to come up for air. I took a job working from home so I could help out more with mom. I'm glad I did, and I wouldn't change that for anything. But it is REALLY hard. I am still not totally sure it's what I need/want to be doing, but I'm taking my time to try and figure that out. One of those new goals I was talking about is going to be really working on organizing my day and my time and setting some better boundaries for myself. We will see how that goes
The holiday season was tough. I didn't realize how much my mom always did until she couldn't do it anymore. Most days I did good just to get us all dressed and through the day, let alone accomplishing half of the tasks on our to-do lists. The two week vacation has been much needed and really good for me. I won't say I'm excited to go back to work, but I am excited to start working on some of those goals/commitments.
Anywho ... here's the latest on our life!
Right before Christmas mom went back to the doctor. They were really concerned because she had lost about 18 lbs in 2 months. I know, I know, I wish I had that problem too, but she didn't have 18 lbs to lose and it was really affecting her health and body functions. She claimed the meds were making her nauseous all the time so we've switched meds. There were several down sides to the doctor's visit. The biggest being that the doctor does believe this disease is moving extremely fast. We all knew it was a rapid moving disease, but none of us have been prepared for just how quickly it is moving. The second downer was that the med she was on is the best out there currently. So nothing else that we put her on is going to help quite as much. It's funny because had you asked me before he took her off it if it was working, I probably would have shrugged and said not really, but once she was off it for two weeks it was AMAZING to realize how much it really was helping. She is eating better now, but not really gaining weight. It's kind of a battle for us, but something we are working on!
To say life over the past few months has been hard is an understatement. I know, I know ...
I'm working on growing up and dealing with it all! But one thing I am really working on is just adjusting. I have done A LOT of reflecting over the past few weeks. I think I was living in this weird place of denial. I think I honestly felt like if I could just take care of things and make things easier for her, it wouldn't really be happening. But I've worked myself sick and exhausted and she just keeps getting worse, so there goes that brilliant plan!
I am one of those weird, crazy people that really loves the new year. I love the feeling of a fresh slate, a clean start, that speaks to me. I love to make goals for myself and then spend a year attempting to get there!
I've got a lot of things swirling around in my brain with this new year that I am hopeful will develop over the course of the next year! Some I might share and others I may not. One thing I am going to try and put more effort into is my blog. I love this blog. It really is a way for me to process and deal with all the things spiraling out of control in my life. It's a way to keep people up to date on what's going on with us and honestly, I hope it gives people a direction in which to pray for us. So I will commit to working on it more, I promise.
The end of this year was whirlwind. Honestly ... I still feel like I'm just now able to come up for air. I took a job working from home so I could help out more with mom. I'm glad I did, and I wouldn't change that for anything. But it is REALLY hard. I am still not totally sure it's what I need/want to be doing, but I'm taking my time to try and figure that out. One of those new goals I was talking about is going to be really working on organizing my day and my time and setting some better boundaries for myself. We will see how that goes
The holiday season was tough. I didn't realize how much my mom always did until she couldn't do it anymore. Most days I did good just to get us all dressed and through the day, let alone accomplishing half of the tasks on our to-do lists. The two week vacation has been much needed and really good for me. I won't say I'm excited to go back to work, but I am excited to start working on some of those goals/commitments.
Anywho ... here's the latest on our life!
Right before Christmas mom went back to the doctor. They were really concerned because she had lost about 18 lbs in 2 months. I know, I know, I wish I had that problem too, but she didn't have 18 lbs to lose and it was really affecting her health and body functions. She claimed the meds were making her nauseous all the time so we've switched meds. There were several down sides to the doctor's visit. The biggest being that the doctor does believe this disease is moving extremely fast. We all knew it was a rapid moving disease, but none of us have been prepared for just how quickly it is moving. The second downer was that the med she was on is the best out there currently. So nothing else that we put her on is going to help quite as much. It's funny because had you asked me before he took her off it if it was working, I probably would have shrugged and said not really, but once she was off it for two weeks it was AMAZING to realize how much it really was helping. She is eating better now, but not really gaining weight. It's kind of a battle for us, but something we are working on!
To say life over the past few months has been hard is an understatement. I know, I know ...
I'm working on growing up and dealing with it all! But one thing I am really working on is just adjusting. I have done A LOT of reflecting over the past few weeks. I think I was living in this weird place of denial. I think I honestly felt like if I could just take care of things and make things easier for her, it wouldn't really be happening. But I've worked myself sick and exhausted and she just keeps getting worse, so there goes that brilliant plan!
So I think I am just trying to work on making adjustments. I'm working on giving myself some grace. This is a crummy situation, I absolutely one hundred percent hate it! But... I am going to do my very best in dealing with this and just continue trying to take it one day at a time!
To say there is a learning curve is an understatement :)!
So here's what I've learned this year, life moves on. Your world crashes, it falls apart and life just keeps moving on. God is still good. He is still faithful, but life is still hard. His goodness doesn't change. But you do. You get stronger. You fall down (A LOT). But you get determined and you just keep moving forward.
There are a lot of things I want to be different in 2015. There are a lot of things that will be hard in 2015. I guess for me I want to continue making memories, loving the time we have left and making the most of it all.
Happy New Year, Y'all!
No comments:
Post a Comment