Trying ...

I've been mulling around a blog post for a few days. I finally finished Still Alice and I have a lot to say about that, but I'm still working on separating the words and my emotions. I will say this, PLEASE READ IT. I think it is an incredible look into the mind of someone suffering from this horrible disease. It gives us an idea of what they must be feeling and that is something we all need to be more aware of. I've got lots more to say on the topic, but today it's just too much.

I'm a member of a group of Early Onset Children and today someone shared this with me.

My dear girl, the day you see I'm getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I'm going through. If when we talk, I repeat the same thing a thousand times, don't interrupt to say: "You said the same thing a minute ago"... Just listen, please. Try to remember the times when you were little and I would read the same story night after night until you would fall asleep.

When I don't want to take a bath, don't be mad and don't embarrass me. Remember when I had to run after you making excuses and trying to get you to take a shower when you were just a girl?

When you see how ignorant I am when it comes to new technology, give me the time to learn and don't look at me that way ... remember, honey, I patiently taught you how to do many things like eating appropriately, getting dressed, combing your hair and dealing with life's issues every day... the day you see I'm getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I'm going through.

If I occasionally lose track of what we're talking about, give me the time to remember, and if I can't, don't be nervous, impatient or arrogant. Just know in your heart that the most important thing for me is to be with you.

And when my old, tired legs don't let me move as quickly as before, give me your hand the same way that I offered mine to you when you first walked. When those days come, don't feel sad... just be with me, and understand me while I get to the end of my life with love. I'll cherish and thank you for the gift of time and joy we shared. With a big smile and the huge love I've always had for you, I just want to say, I love you ... my darling daughter.

Original text in Spanish and photo by Guillermo Peña.

Translation to English by Sergio Cadena

I fail at this so miserably everyday. God help me to be the daughter she needs me to be. Help me to learn to be selfless and loving and pour out myself for her. Help me to be patient and kind and loving. This is my prayer tonight ... God help me.