Update

It's been a few weeks since I posted ... you get busy, life keeps going ... it's hard. But this is a great place for me to put what I'm learning. I've got a lot of posts in my head ... just waiting on the right words and the right time to come out. But for now I'll be short!

So this past Tuesday I started what's called the #Whole30. I have a sweet friend, who asked if I was interested in holding each other accountable and doing it together and I thought, sure why not?? Oh what was I thinking??? Basically #Whole30 is this: Thirty days of NO sugar, NO dairy, NO grains, NO beans, NO alcohol and NO CHEATING. It's all about cleaning out your body, resetting your metabolism and bringing your brain back to reality. You can see more at www.whole30.com.

Day 1 I was feeling AWESOME! I thought I had this in the bag. Today is day 6 and I feel like I'm dying. Part of that is I've had a sick baby (yes, again!) and I think I've contracted whatever awesome infection he had...I'm dying for a Braums' ice cream or a Sonic slush right about now. But I made this commitment to myself and to my friend and I'm going to keep it! I will not be overtaken by temporary defeat!

I'll try and keep you posted on how it's going. I'm hoping it will end up being really good for me and help me tackle those unhealthy cravings, but today I think it's one of the more stupid things I've committed to in my lifetime :)!

In other news we've been living the life of waiting on doctors for the past few months. I took my mom to the doctor back at the beginning of February. We are in April and we still have no answers. They've finally completed all the tests and we go back to see the specialist on Wednesday. Honestly, the diagnosis no longer seems as terrifying. I just want answers and a plan to help her deal with all of this. Maybe that's why doctors make you do all this waiting, so that by the time they finally get around to a diagnosis you've started to make your peace with whatever it is. We all have our suspicions on what it is and what it isn't, who knows.

One thing I've learned over the past few months is who is sincere and who is not. My mom is really having a hard time and there have been numerous friends who have stepped up to help her and be there for her. That is making a huge difference for us. Thank you for all the prayers and support. It does not go unnoticed.

This has been a rough start to 2014 for us, but God is still good and he is still on his throne. I'm trusting in his plan even though most days I have NO idea what it is. I'm trying to practice grace, for myself and for others. I'm trying to focus less on the things that don't matter and more on the things that do. And above all else I'm just seeking to love God and follow Him in my own little space of the world, one day at a time.