I'm Baaaaaaaaack!!!

It's been a long while. I'm feeling it. I haven't written in FOREVER!  If you ever read my blog at all, you know I really write more for myself than anyone. I use it as a way to process and I have definitely been missing it.

Life is pretty much the same as it was two years ago. I mean I've added a bakery so that's new. But I still have an amazing little family and I still miss my mom more than I can say. This disease is even more brutal than I could ever have imagined and I hate it with a passion I didn't know I had. But ... it's our life. We still try hard to make memories and spend time together. I'll write more about her later.

But today I want to come back to writing talking about my word for 2018. Actually my word for 2017 was brave. I tried hard to be brave and there were times I can look back and see I overcame some fears and I jumped in.

I let down my walls with some friends and God gave me some really good friendships. I took a big ole swan dive into owning a bakery. It's going so well, even though we still have lots to figure out! I dealt with a health scare with ole Asher Man and towards the end of the year another one myself. I wasn't always brave - that's a hard word to live up to, but I tried and for that I'm calling it a win!

I've been thinking a lot lately about 2018. At first I decided I wasn't doing a word. But then I thought about how much it helps me. It keeps me focused sometimes and I know God uses that word in my life through the year. So I've really been thinking and praying about what it should be. I've gone through quite a few. At first I was sure it was supposed to be serve, then I landed on balance. Honestly I just didn't have a lot of peace about either one. This morning we were driving back home and I was listening to a song. This song has become one that I cry to quite often. It's called Georgica Pond by Johnnyswim. In it the singer talks about losing her mom. It's a song that when I need a good cry I put on. It came on our Pandora and as I was listening I was thinking about what all this year could possibly have in store. Some if it will be scary. Some of it will be amazing. Some of it will be hard work and some of it will be fun. Some of it will be heartbreaking but through all of it I know one thing will stay the same. Jesus. He will not let me down, He will not be surprised, He will not abandon me. I can trust Him. And in that moment I knew my word ...

No matter what happens in 2018...I am not alone. I will inevitably continue to lose my mother and watch her fade into only a shadow of who I used to know. There will be highs and lows but through it all I can trust that God is for me. There may be times I have to cling to that word with all that I am ... but then that's what makes it a good word!

What about you? What's your one word for 2018?

I'm so happy to be back writing even if I am the only one who ever reads these words. I need to be writing them. Thanks so much for reading!

Til next time,