It Is What It Is

She is my hero. She faces each situation with more grace and courage than I can muster in my little finger. Even when she’s scared, even when things don’t make sense, she finds a way to laugh. She is my hero. She is my mother.

We got way more answers than we anticipated yesterday. I know that in my heart I already knew what the doctor was going to say but still to watch him look my sweet momma in the eye and say the words was … painful. It broke my heart. It was tough. But I had promised myself I would be strong yesterday.

We know we are dealing with dementia. The way he explained was that dementia is like an umbrella. It encompasses lots of different types. So now we just have to figure out which type she has. There are so many: Early Onset Alzheimer’s, Vascular, Fronto-temporal, Lewy Bodies, Post Cortical … We have to determine which one we have and then we will make a plan for where to go next.

I cannot even begin to understand or imagine any of this. My mom has always been one of the brightest people I know. She knew how to do everything. I don’t just say that cause she was my mom. She could fix any computer problem and she almost single-handedly ran our school district. To watch her losing those capabilities is so hard. But I can’t even begin to imagine what she must be feeling. I would give just about anything to change things.

But it is what it is.

That is our mantra right now. It is what it is, whether we like it or not.

We made a decision yesterday that we are going to enjoy every minute we can. We are going to make lots of memories and we are going to cherish the good days, come what may.

One of my favorite moments from yesterday was seeing how my mom has such an amazing sense of humor. We were parked at a stop light next to a gentleman with a sign that said will work for food. Mom asked me to roll the window down. I told her no! She was very adamant. I said what do you want to say. She looked at me, smiled and said, I want to tell him he just thinks he has problems. I love that woman with every fiber of my being.

Keep praying with us. We would love to see the doctors tell us it is a slow progressing dementia. Honestly, we would love a cure and we are going to pray like hell for one at this point.

I’m going to leave you with what I am holding onto today. It’s good stuff. I’m going to be clinging to things like this a lot.