Chaos

There seems to be a lot of chaos in my life these days. I'm a person who likes order (although I think my husband would argue that sometimes if you looked at my housekeeping skills)!! I like plans and lists and order. The very definition of chaos is a state of complete disorder and confusion. No wonder my life feels out of balance.

But I think there is another reason.

:Lately I've been trying to do everything, to be everything, to fix everything on my own. And I just can't. There is a song that I used to listen to on repeat in my younger years. I would roll down my windows, open my sun roof and blast this song singing at the top of my lungs.

Jesus be the center 

Be my source be my light, Jesus 

Jesus be the center 

Be my hope

Be my song, Jesus 

Be the fire in my heart 

Be the wind in my sails

Be the reason that I live 

Jesus, Jesus 

Jesus be my vision 

Be my help

Be my guide, Jesus

 - Jami Smith - 

My younger self grasped something that my older self tends to forget. I can't do anything without Him. On my own, I'm ugly, I'm selfish, I'm mean, I'm whiny, I'm arrogant, I'm judgmental... without Jesus my center gets off and I start to act a whole lot more like me than I do like Him.

So I have to stop. I have to refocus. I have to remember that He is the center. Everything revolves around Him. Whatever His reasons this season of my life, these circumstances we face, they have a purpose. The closer I get to Him the more I'll be okay with that. I've got to come to a place where regardless of how I feel, I continue to TRUST. I trust His heart, I trust His name.

There is A LOT going on around me. I'm reminded now that we are all human. There is no one who is perfect. But aren't you glad for grace. I need it to swallow me whole because on my own ... I just need it. Big Time!!

I want to leave you with this today. I love Jesus Calling. This was posted to the author's Facebook page and popped up on my feed. I needed to see it today. It may find it's way onto a note card on my bathroom mirror!

"I share both your good times and your struggles. I embrace you in My everlasting arms, helping you extract good from adversity. I devise creative ways to reveal Myself to you, and I rejoice when you are attentive. While using My future knowledge to prepare you for what is ahead, I train you to enjoy My Presence in the present. When you are struggling deeply, I offer you My Peace."

I need His peace. I need His presence. I need Him to be my center.