GRACE

Grace... This word has been floating around in my head for a few days. I've wanted to sit down and write but just haven't had the time. I've had a teething baby (whose teeth seem like they are never going to come in), I've been trying to stay on track with my diet and exercise, I've been SO behind at work ... there just hasn't been time.

This morning I was successfully beating myself up for snoozing my 5 AM alarm to get up and work out. You know the words that go through your head..."Things are never going to change. You have NO discipline. yada, yada, yada!" I was sitting there berating myself because when I miss my 5 am workout I have to get one in during the afternoon. This usually means I miss out on time with the boy which then leads to me berating myself for my not so awesome mommy skills. In the middle of this train of thoughts I felt an impressing STOP within my spirit. Just STOP.

I sat there for a minute and then looked down to find this verse staring straight up at me.

James 4:6 

But he gives greater grace...

Grace.

I offer grace to others daily. That by no means is a shoout out to myself. I fail others daily as well. But I'm pretty good at giving grace to others. I offer grace to my students who failed to bring their binder and surprisingly have nothing at all to work on. I offer grace to my coworkers who are tired and grouchy from a rough three day weekend. I offer grace to my husband who is sometimes just cranky in the mornings. :) But I struggle, and I mean REALLY struggle with offering grace to myself.
(Just because I feel like it needs to be said - all of those people also offer grace to me, I get that, but it's not the point I'm trying to make :)!)

Not only do I struggle with giving grace to myself, I struggle with accepting the grace of others, namely God. I find myself stuck somewhere between I don't deserve this and I am NOT good enough. But friends that is the beauty of grace. We aren't deserving, we aren't good enough, but it is still offered. It is still mine for the taking.

Grace.

Where do we get this idea that in order to receive it we must be perfect? Where did I trick myself into believing that in order to be a good mom I have to be perfect? In order to lose the weight I can never slip up? Living my life by the standard of perfection is exhausting...and according to Jesus it's unnecessary.

Ephesians 2:8-9

For it is by GRACE you have been saved, through faith- and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God - not by works, so that no one can boast. 

Today I'm going to work on giving grace more freely, but I'm also going to work on receving it. I'm going to work on giving myself some grace. I'm going to strive for grace and not perfection.