The weekend getaway was really so needed. We were able to
just kind of leave everything here at home and just get away. It was nice. It
allowed me to really be removed from the situation at home and just think
through all the possibilities with this new job. Honestly, I think if I’d
stayed here I would not have taken the job. Being in this environment everyday
just cements for me that mom can’t be alone, so I think I would have convinced
myself that this is where I needed to be. But I was able to get away, I was
able to think clearly and I’m pretty happy with my decision. I actually think
it is going to be good for ALL of us.
Leaving Friday was a nightmare. Mom got really confused and
she just didn’t understand and it all just fell apart. Those are the moments
that it is really hard for me and I have to keep reminding myself that the
person in front of me is being controlled by something they can’t help. It’s
really not my mom in that moment and that’s so hard. I miss my mom. You guys, I
miss her so much. I miss the confident, strong, secure person that she was.
This disease is just so brutal.
When we got home (we ended up driving back on Sunday
afternoon/night due to weather coming in) Mom and I decided to run to Lawton on
Monday for a Sam’s trip. One of the things I’ve been thinking on a lot lately
is what I want for this blog to be. I mean I want it to be a place that can
keep family and friends updated on what’s going on with and us and how mom is
doing. But I also think I want it to be a place that will hold some memories
for me. So I want to start taking more pictures and writing more about the
things we are doing and the memories we are making! So in that attempt, I
loaded her up (just the two of us – which she mentioned about 100 times how she
enjoys doing things just the two of us ;)!) and away we went.
We actually had a really nice day. I actually don’t really
enjoy taking mom grocery shopping for a few reasons. The biggest being she is a
wanderer. She just kind of takes off and if you are not watching or prepared
you can lose her. That might not seem like a big deal but oh it definitely can
be. But she did really good at staying with me. This disease causes her to be
really distracted but that can actually be kind of humorous at times. You can
be in mid conversation and she’s like Oh Jackets! I need a jacket! And just
takes off. Anyways we had lunch together, loaded up on groceries and made it
home just as the boy was waking up from his nap. She really missed him over the
weekend and so she wanted to have some good grandbaby time.
.JPG)
I finally got to talk to our Dr. We’ve been missing each
other for the past two weeks. I’ve been wanting to talk to him about how she’s
been doing since we switched her meds. When he called (and yes, I am actually
talking about the doctor. That is one thing that continues to blow me away!) we
talked for almost half an hour. He went through a lot of questions trying to
understand her cognitive functioning and I answered as best I could. (After we
hung up I talked to my dad, the hubs, my brother, and my mom’s best friend to talk
through the questions and make sure I answered them honestly, because I
recognize I am SO close to this situation. I know that there are days that I
think she is getting bad so quickly, but maybe I am just too close). Dr. Wu was
really surprised at how quickly she is declining. Several people who have seen
mom over the last few weeks have made similar comments. So we are going to go
meet with him again for him to do some cognitive testing (he does this on every
visit to document the decline) and talk about different meds and options.
The
thing I constantly battle is knowing she won’t get better. There is NOTHING he can
do, no medicine he can give, no test we can do, there is NO fix. I hate that!
So much! But I’ll keep you posted on what the doctor does say and what the
plans are for now.
I have taken the new job. Even though I won’t be home all
day every day there is A LOT of flexibility with this new position and I think
it will be good for all of us. Honestly, I have to get out of this house. I am
here 24 hours a day and it is definitely taking a toll on me. I’m excited. I think
it’s a great opportunity for me and I think it is going to be really good.
Mom is definitely a little nervous. Any change at all is terrifying
in her mind, but Dad is going to be home with her a lot and I think overall it
will be good for all of us.
Just a reminder, I’ve created a team to do the Walk to End
Alzheimer’s in OKC on September 12. We have a team goal of $2000 and I have a
personal goal of $1000. So far as a team we have raised $540, so we are off to
an awesome start! If you are interested in walking with us, raising money, or
just giving to support the cause click the picture below for more information!
No comments:
Post a Comment