Where I'm At ...

I'm not going to lie, it has been a rough few days. But I felt like I needed to take a few minutes and share my heart today. Maybe somebody needs to hear it.

I'm tired ... like the kind of tired that you feel deep down. The boy is so sick and I feel completely helpless and all of it is just exhausting! I know I'm preaching at a bunch of people who have been there and can totally relate (all of your you will survive this notes have meant so much!). But it's just a tough season ... albeit hopefully a short one.

I was sitting there last night thinking about how I felt like maybe God was not really hearing me. He just felt so far away.

I'm doing an online bible study with my bestie. It's tough ... but it's been really good. It's forcing me to face some things I didn't really want to face but I've so needed it. I was behind a couple of chapters so last night I was trying to catch up. I read this...

"growing closer to God has a whole lot less to do with any action we might take and whole lot more to do with positioning our hearts toward his..." 

Can I just get an amen? It is not about what I'm doing or not doing that makes me any closer to God. It is about whether or not my heart is aligned with his. Sometimes us church brats (I'm a BIG one!) get so caught up in trying to check off the things we are doing for god that we forget that's really not what any of this is about. It's about knowing Him and making Him known. Once I align my heart with that ... things seem to get a whole lot easier. 

So I don't know if someone needs to hear that today or it was a gem from God's heart to mine. But it's not about what I'm doing ... I don't have to DO anything. He's already done it all and he is simply waiting on me to just come. Sometimes positioning our hearts toward his might look a lot like us crawling up in his lap and gazing into his face, letting him just hold us and our hurts and our fears. Sometimes it might mean falling face first on the ground acknowledging how very little we have figured out. Whatever it might look like for you - spend some time before this day is over positioning your heart towards His. I promise things will look a whole lot brighter when you do. 

Love you all. :)